Your Wedding is Bad, and You Should Feel Bad.

Do-it-yourself centerpieces, custom-designed invitations, personalized vows, choreographed dances—wedding books and blogs have turned planning a wedding into a part-time job. I'm talking thirty-two hours per week and eligible for benefits.

With all the elements that go into a wedding nowadays some mistakes are inevitable. And if you think you aren't making any mistakes in your wedding planning, the Internet would like to prove you wrong.

I am not sure if your handful of Xanax counts as your something blue.

When I started planning my wedding, I had some ideas of the mistakes I could make and the things that could go awry. I imagine that most daughters of Portuguese moms have heard dissertations on why specific weddings were tacky or inappropriate. However, the opinions I came armed with represented only a fraction of what various "experts" found they could list in blogs, online communities, and magazine websites.

There are not only twelve mistakes you can make. There aren't only twenty-five mistakes. There are no fewer than fifty mistakes you can make when planning your wedding. Those lists are only for the brides: grooms can make a few mistakes, too, although it seems they commmit far fewer sins than their brides-to-be.

After I joined Pinterest (something I swore I'd never do, but here we are), I was bombarded with these lists. Amid the images Chinese knock-off wedding gowns, nearly-identical floral arrangements, and ill-advised wedding favors were these nuggets of bridal shame. I got the impression that there was more wrong than right that you could do with a wedding. The more mistake lists I saw, the less "Pinterested" I became.

I don't mean to imply that these lists have no value because that isn't true. Yes, you should consider your guests' feelings and, please, have a heart and feed your vendors. But will your wedding be a disaster because you announced your engagement too early or skipped a makeup trial? Well, I don't know what kind of crappy wedding you're planning, so it may well be a disaster, but those above-mentioned mistakes won't be the cause.

Look, we don't live in one of The Knot's wedding shoots, so every wedding will have its issues—yes, even the perfect wedding you've been planning since you got your first bridal Barbie doll. The issues could be as small as the caterer forgetting the pecans in the salad course or as large as the venue burning down before the big day. Weddings have too many moving parts, so no matter what you do, you can't ensure that everything goes exactly as planned.

Of course I am not suggesting that you shouldn't try make the day go as smoothly as possible. I just feel that, in my very inexpert opinion, there is no point in dwelling on the dozens of mistakes you "could" be making as a bride (or the four or five mistakes you could be making as a groom). If you're planning a wedding that makes you happy while also being considerate of your guests (because if it were just "your special day", you wouldn't invite other people), you're probably doing a decent job.

Remember, you're getting married, not auditioning for a role in The Wedding Planner 2. That's the ultimate goal of a wedding: legally joining two people in matrimony. It's not a contest to see who can best follow the rules. Uh, other than the rules for getting married wherever you live. Do follow those, OK?