The "Non-Traditional" Traditional Bride

I got engaged about six months ago (exactly six months as of yesterday, but who's counting?). Our wedding is still eighteen months away, so we're still in the stage where planning feels fun and not panic-attack-inducing.

Our wedding will be traditional in the sense that there will be a ceremony followed by a big party with music, dancing, dinner and—of course—cake. However, we will also be forgoing certain elements because we are a) feminists and b) no fans of tradition for the sake of tradition.

Still, I am a petty, materialistic woman at heart, and I want stuff. Pretty stuff, frivolous stuff... stuff that says "I am an exuberant bride who just wasted her money." Unfortunately, many of the bridal items geared toward ladies who long for stuff are decidedly patriarchal with the titles "Miss" (as in "no longer a") and "Mrs." all over the place.

Kate Spade Mrs. Robe (image courtesy of katespade.com)

Look, I'm not over here earning a MRS Degree. I do not refer to myself as Miss now, and I do not plan to refer to myself as Mrs. because my marital status has no bearing on the way I should be treated in formal and professional settings. I'm just marrying a dude who I love, and, while I am super excited about that, I still want to feel like my own person. But, again, I want stuff.

With that in mind, can't someone make a line of bridal crap for "bougie", materialistic-yet-feminist gals like me? Can I get a robe that says "Ms. +1"? Could there be a passport holder that says "Still Not Miss in Wedded Bliss?" What about a bracelet that says "Today I Marry My Equal Partner"?

Hey, Kate Spade—you know what works! These are just jumping-off points. I will gladly buy whatever gaudy, feminist merchandise you throw at me. And let me know if you want to push that diversity envelope and feature an awkward blind lady in your promotions.