The '90s Called...

I turned six at the beginning of the 1990s, and I was almost sixteen years old by the time that decade ended. That means I got to wear a variety of '90s fashions—from the teased bangs that are often associated with the '80s to the low-rise jeans that are often associated with the early '00s. You can see an example of my dope '90s style here.

When you're young and in the midst of fashion trends, you think

- The '90s Called...

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Salt of the Earth Bakery: The Cookie

I know, I know... why more cookies? Well, this is my life now. Deal with it.

I never enjoyed store-bought chocolate chip cookies much. My mom only made one kind of cookies when I was a kid—Toll House chocolate chip cookies—, but she made those really well. How was I supposed to eat Chips Ahoy after that?

Have you ever tried to make those cookies, though? It's a pain in the ass. Measure out all your ingredients,

- Salt of the Earth Bakery: The Cookie

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Weird Beliefs I Had as a Child

The ignorance and creativity of the child mind allow for odd thoughts and beliefs to flourish. My own mind was no exception. Now that I am something of an adult, I know how little I knew, and how wrong some of what I thought I knew was. And I can laugh about it all because how else would I pass the time?

  • "MacArthur Park" was a song made up for The Simpsons.

In "Lisa the Beauty Queen" (season four, episode

- Weird Beliefs I Had as a Child

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At My Bake Sale, Yeah!

I've been living in Brooklyn for a month now. So far one of the nicest things that has happened to me, and possibly the nicest thing that will ever happen while I live here, was the day that our friend, Paul, sent us a surprise cookie delivery.

That night my other half, Robert, was trying to order dinner from Postmates when his account got locked. Maybe an hour later, after we'd ordered food through another service, Rob got a text

- At My Bake Sale, Yeah!

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So This is a Thing: Football Garter Toss

I hate to disappoint you all, but no one will be catching a sweaty, chub-rub-frayed (yes, that could probably happen on my legs in just a couple hours) garter at my wedding. To me, tossing the garter is a creepy, unnecessary tradition. Honestly, I can't imagine how someone decided that whole ordeal would be appropriate for a wedding.

And just when you thought it couldn't get creepier, Pinterest made it happen!

Football with a garter around it

You're next, Guys! Isn't that just thrilling? You get

- So This is a Thing: Football Garter Toss

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